Monday, February 9, 2009

Vogon Poetry, Part 1

As Douglas Adams told you in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.
The second worst is that of the Azagoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth.

9 comments:

Poetikat said...

As long as you were sporting a gas-mask, I think a reading by Grunthos would be quite entertaining, but maybe that's just me.
Inspired post, Doug.

Kat

poemhome said...

More Vorgon Poetry, if you can bear it, soon

tess said...

Sickening, disgusting, the armpit passage was the best, I mean the worst!

poemhome said...

the best, I mean worst, is yet to come!

raffy said...

Hey, some of my best friends are Vogons!

Kelly said...

I can only imagine that Grunthos the Flatulent has an armpit full of poetry that stinks!

Poetikat said...

Doug, I see you were over at BFtP yesterday. There's a new post up today.

Kat

Teresa R said...

I'm re-re-re-(etc)-reading Hitchhikers right now! It's just as fresh and funny the 40th time as it was the first time, and the Vogon poetry description is definitely a highlight!

poemhome said...

Teresa has inspired the Vogon to make another post!
Please stand by!!